So much water has passed under the bridge that i scarcely know where, or how, to begin. So many adventures and mishaps, dance competitions and bake-offs, the world is truly my oyster.
I think I shall start with a tale of the erstwhile Filipa Hole, who had popped round to mine to get ready for her part time job at the Brewery Gate.
I had cooked a spot of supper, and we sat and drank some tea, before Filipa ventured upstairs to pop on her uniform.
I was utilizing the facilities when suddenly an anguished cry came from my bedroom,
'Honey! I've had a hideous accident!'
I raced into the room to find Filipa gripping onto the tallboy with one leg raised in an unwitting parody of a Morcombe and Wise sketch.
It would appear that wile Filipa was donning her apparel Trotter had casually pottered into the room and done a discreet poo on the floor. Tragically the unsuspecting Filipa took a step backwards and planted her foot smack bang in the middle of Trotters fragrant offering.
Needless to say it was a calamity of the highest nature and resulted in some very unladylike retching in the lavatory.
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