Trotter and Fing drove to Blackpool in Fing's ferrari on Saturday morning. On Fat Boy Faggots suggestion they booked into a delightful camp hotel opposite the Flying handbag, they polled up, booked in, unpacked and went down and had a glass of wine.
The boys had never been to Blackpool and set off to the front to look for donkeys and were sorely disappointed when all they could find were obese people in motorized wheelchair's.
They went to the pleasure beach and purchased buckets and spades and were very disappointed when they were made to leave the beach due to the 'No Dogs April - September' policy. There was a little consternation as the sign did not say 'no cats' so Fing stayed on the beach and pissed on everyone's parade before he was chased off by an irate holiday maker with a wet towel in his hand.
Laughing to themselves about their naughtiness they went back to the hotel and ordered more wine.
After a small snack the boys set off to Funny Girls, where they had previously booked a table. They found themselves sitting next to an ex miner from Cardiff who's wife had run off with his brother, they told him that they really weren't interested thank you very much, and would he mind shutting the fuck up so they could watch the show?
After the show they went to Flamingoes and danced like spastics on acid before returning to the hotel to collapse in bed.
Fing awoke with the most terrible blisters from his new white brogues and found it so difficult to walk that the hotel's proprietor asked if he'd been gang raped in the night.
Sunday was another day of heavy drinking interspersed with a show by Fings favorite drag act - Kitty Litter. Trotter can't remember very much of this evening as he went back to the hotel for some pro plus and woke up the next morning on top of the bed, still fully dressed.
The next day Fing's ankles had still not calmed down so the boys got back in the ferrari and wove their weary way home.
