One day in May

THE WEEKEND IS HERE!

Trotters and Fing are planning a trip to the coast in Fings Ferrari, now that the new dog ramp that supports canines of up to 20 stone has arrived, the world is their oyster. Fing has purchased a lovely picnic hamper and has filled it full with all of their favourite things.

There is mineral water or Lauren Perrier to drink. There is cubed cheese and sliced chicken to eat. There is Old Cat Iams and Young Adventurous Dog Iams to suck on during the journey down. As a treat for the beach there is is caviar with pickled eggs and a packet of Revels for dessert.

Trotter and Fing know how to live in style.

Meanwhile, Tutz will be cleaning her scratchy pole whilst listening to Amy Winehouse.

Martha will be pottering around in her own world of madness.

Varne will go to bed hoping that she is not woken up by men in drag in the early hours of the morning.

Lulu is posing in front of the mirror upstairs as she has just got back from the poodle parlour and has such a lovely new haircut that she is transfixed by the sight of her shapely little figure in the mirror. The excess hair made her look 3 stone heavier she decides.

Fat Boy Faggot is preparing for a trip to the Vauxhall Tavern and a brief sojourn in Chariots, perhaps, if the fancy takes him.

And Giggsey Girl the Stupid Slug face? She hasn't decided what she wants to do this weekend, and may purchase a bottle of Silver Merrydown, just for old times sake.