May Day

Once again it is glorious May Morning, when those with very little common sense like to toss themselves off Magdelen Bridge into the shallow waters of the river in order to break limbs and maim themselves.

This customary tossing is watched by a crowd of bloodthirsty maniacs who like to encourage the tossers by cheering in an exuberant fashion hoping to catch sight of a broken ankle, bloodied nose or fractured skull when the tossers are ferried back up the bank up by emergency services.

This year then, both the tossers and the braying mob would have been sorely disappointed as the police closed off the bridge and refused to join in with the May Day festivities.

Common sense prevailed and the crowd, looking for blood and carrying a Wickerman, burning brands, and an assortment of pitchforks, went on a witch hunt instead.

Meanwhile, normal people danced around hitting each other over the heads with inflated pigs bladders on sticks, bells round their toes and waving hankies in the air. Other normal people could be seen dressed as tree's, or with large horns attached to their head, and many more wore large hats covered in spring flowers.

Thankfully there was a large proportion of the extremely drunk who evened out the odds a little, and a good time was had by all.