Classic

Fing has gathered the pets in my bedroom in order to try and introduce culture to the animals of Preachers Lane.

'In your opinion' he asks, 'what was Lucian trying to convey when he wrote "The fly is not the smallest of winged creatures if you compare it with gnats and midges and even tinier things, but it is as much large than those as it as smaller than the bee"?'

'What?','WHAT?' spits Giggsey Girl, the stupid slug face, all cross eyed confusion like a recently awoken victim of catatonia from the window sill.

'Ppprrrooootttt!' says Tutz from the top of the scratchy pole, lying languidly like a small grey furry jellyfish, 'Proooooot!', then shuts down from the conversation to concentrate on the league of insanity that is her world.

Fing stares into nothing for what seems like an age before composing himself for Trotters opinion.

Trotter looks at Fing and says 'I think he's talking out of his fat fucking Greek arse'

Fing holds his head in his paws and despairs. It is at that moment that Fat Boy Faggot speaks from beside the bookcase.

'If you'll excuse me for saying so', he says, 'I've always preferred the Greek'