A day in the life of....

It is a day much as any other in the Hartley household.

Trotter is sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Martha to come home. In the sitting room, on the sofa, Truly Scrumptious Lulu, the chubbiest dog in the west, snoozes like a great big lump of black lard.

Fat boy Faggot sits on the top in the kitchen, greedily consuming all of the cat milk before the other cats realize its there.

Upstairs Tutz practices being boneless and lies draped like an old rag on the top level of the scratchy pole.

Outside Fing roles in the dirt like a cat possessed while Giggsey Girl the stupid slug face sits like a gargoyle on the wall waiting to attck strangers.

All, as usual.

Fat Boy Faggot is now throwing up for his greedyness and a lake of white vomit covers the side.

Fing is having a panic attack and is stood on his hind legs peering through the glass of the back door in an angst ridden moment.

Tutz has accidentally slithered off the top level of the scratchy pole and is regaining her composure underneath the bed.

Lulu sleeps.

Trotter waits, like the good little dog he is, saving all his energy to give Martha the welcome she deserves. Oh how he will twirl when she comes.