Why?

I was lucky the other day, in so much that when I picked up my umbrella, which had been left open and upside down by the side of the mop bucket by Stuart the night before, that I happened to notice a small spillage of urine to the side.

Had I of just whisked it up over my head and opened it I would have been showered with Trotters urine, but as I say, I was lucky this time.

Unlike the time that Martha's waterproof jacket was lying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs and I grabbed it intending to hang it up and got covered from head to toe by the pool of cats pee that had been nestleing unnoticed on top of it.

That time I stood there for a moment, as the pee dripped off the end of my nose and wondered what, exactly, i'd done to deserve this life.