Mines a chocolate eyeball

There was great excitement as the Pets prepared for Halloween, the biscuits were baked, the pumpkins carved and filled with candles and the Trick or Treat? sweets all ready in the bowl.

Fing had agreed that he would stay at home and dispense the sweets so that the others could go out in fancy dress.

Tutz was dressed as a tiny pumpkin, grey face and big yellow eyes staring out for underneath a little orange and green bonnet.

Truly Scrumptious Lulu, the chubbiest Dog in the West, was dressed as a spider, with 4 extra legs poking out the side.

Trotter, of course, was DRACULE!!! and had his favourite cape and false vampire teeth in.

Fat Boy Faggot was dressed as a zombie and had covered himself in face paints and was a rather unattractive mottled green and grey.

Giggsey Girl the Stupid Slug face has wrapped herself in lengths and lengths of bandages and was a Mummy.

And so they went out and knocked on doors and shouted 'TRICK OR TREAT' when people opened the doors, they said 'Thank you very much' when they were given sweets then raced on to the next house full of high spirits and happiness.

At home Fing endured the constant knocking and the shouts of 'TRICK OR TREAT!' secure in the knowledge that every treat was in fact a trick, as he had pissed in the biscuit mixture when Lulu wasn't watching, because, after all, that's just the sort of bastard that he is.