Discussion

'I think the most moving performance by an animal in a film has to be from the Incredible Journey, ' says Fing from the sofa. ' When that poor dog falls into the big watery pit and everyone thinks he has drowned',

'Oh Come on! Lassie has to be the most moving pet performer of all time?', disagrees Lulu , sitting on the kitchen side as she mixes a bowl of cookies with a cigar hanging out the side of her mouth.

'I don't know about 'moving', says Giggsey Girl The Stupid Slug Face, 'But I happen to think the best acting ever done in a film is by the cat who played Jones in Alien, then headlined in the sequel, Aliens, INCREDIBLE performance. Outstanding, that was pure terror on that cats face'

'Are we limited to cats and dogs?' asks Fat Boy Faggot, sat on the bench being given a manicure by Tutz, 'As I personally think that little pig rounding up those stupid woolly sheep in Babe deserves a medal'

Tutz is disinclined to comment as she feels the use of animals in films is akin to theft, do these animals reap the benefits of their hard work? No! Do they get to travel the world in yachts, dripping with diamonds and drinking Crystal? No! All they get, and that's if they're lucky, is regularly de-flea'd and groomed incessantly. No, she rather be quite mad and left to her own devises she decides as she becomes cross eyed with concentration, applying a coat of pink varnish to Faggots nails.

Trotter sits and listens to the conversation and cannot remember watching any films with animals in. Suddenly he has an epiphany. 'My favourite animal in a film is Ermentrude from the magic roundabout' he pipes up.

All the other pets do not disabuse him of this notion and smile at him warmly, 'Ermentrude it is then' says Fing, in a good humour for once.

Lulu makes tea for everyone and they all sit around and talk about the good old days instead.