Advent Carnage

Trotter is very upset.

Someone very naughty indeed has opened every single window of his advent calender, eaten the chocolates, then closed the doors behind them.

Fing is consoling the poor poor distraught angel, with a paw on his shoulder he looks to the other pets to try and locate the chocolate thief.

Fat Boy Faggot reclines in the bath, 'Don't be stupid Dahhlliing', he purrs, 'Once on the lips, a lifetime on the hips'.

Lulu says, 'Don't be stupid! I'm too short to reach the kitchen top!'

Tutz says nothing at all as she hangs upside down from her scratchy pole pretending to be a fruit bat, obviously beyond reproach in her studied and complete madness.

Who does it leave?

Why! Giggsey Girl the Stupid Slug Face!

Where is the most naughtiest of tinkers, the most troublesome of girls?

She is on top of the TV with a smug look on her slug like lips, the proverbial cat who had the cream, although in this instance, the cat who had 17 milk chocolate treats.

And to make it worse, she just doesn't care!

Bad, Bad, Giggsey Girl!

Fing gives her a steely eyed stare and warns that Father Christmas doe's not bring presents to the bad, only the good, and that he is certain that she will be on the list for a lump of coal.

But Giggsey Girl shrugs it off and lay's down in her favourite spot and dreams she is Willy Wonka and Lulu an Oumpa Lumpa.

'Don't worry Trotter', says Fing, 'It's probably a good job she ate them all anyway'

'How do you work that out?' cries Trotter!

'Well, remember the year that you ate all the Quality Street at Christmas and nearly killed yourself? Remember? We found you underneath the Christmas Tree holding onto your tummy and moaning, all covered in sparkly chocolate wrappers?'

Trotter, who was only a tiny baby at the time, had not remembered this at all and is secretly relieved that Gigg's had all the sweets.

The problem resolved Fing pours them all a glass of port and they sit down to watch 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' whilst tucking into some stilton and some lovely home made pickled onions.