After the success of the Royal Albert the pets felt elated and full of Christmas Joy de Vie. They hummed and sang and danced, imagined that it had snowed and put of the Christmas Tree.
When they had put up the Christmas Tree they all sat on the sofa in a long furry line and watched 'Its a wonderful life' on DVD.
Having watched the DVD they decided to go to Salisbury's. Fing made sure everyone had their woolly hats and scarves on, loaded Lulu, Tutz and Giggsey Girl the stupid slug face into the trolley and set off.
It was quite an exciting trip. In an idle moment a couple of weeks ago Fing and Fat Boy Faggot had devised a special harness to attach Trotter to the Trolley and today was the first time for the roughly hewn prototype to be tried out.
They waited until they had got safely across the lights, then helped Trotter into the harness, and attached it to the trolley. Trotter was enormously excited and looked very resplendent in his World War 2 Fighter Pilot Jacket and leather cap with ear flaps.
Fing and Fat Boy jumped onto the sides of the Trolley and they were off!
Given Trotters propensity for running as fast as a cheeter on speed and the derelict nature of the shopping trolley it was perhaps, an accident waiting to happen.
They set off up the road at nealy 70mph, with Trotters legs hairing up the pavement, ear flaps on his hat flying backwards in the wind. Fing and Fat Boy gripping on for dear life, eyes almost closed, the intense speed, like G Force, contorting their tiny faces.
Inside the Trolley it was chaos, having not thought of the notion of seat beats, Lulu, Giggsey Girl and Tutz were being thrown around left right and centre, almost as if they were in a large and unwieldy maraca, but obviously not as rattly, more a muted cacophony of 'MEWS!, 'YELPS' and 'OUCH's'.
It couldnt of ended calmly, not realistically. No one had warned Trotter about corners, no one had thought to tell the boy to perhaps slow down. No.
It was carnage, as Trotter took the corner at nearly 80mph the front left wheel of the trolley hit a tiny, inconspicuous stone and took to the air.
Fing and the Fag ended up in the tree, Tutz, Giggs and Lulu all mangled in the bushes, and Trotter? Trotter hadn't even noticed, he was still running in the middle distance pulling nothing but a set of wheels, a faint plume of smoke coming from the wreckage.
After they had extricated themselves from the shrubbery, Lulu and Tutz helped the boys down from the tree, Giggsey Girl was sent to Salisbury's to buy some brandy and they all set off home, like a bunch of wounded soldiers, without bandages perhaps, but all a bit dusty and rather tatty and feeling very sorry for themselves.
Except Trotter! Trotter was already at home, panting by the front gate, harness still attached, the destroyed trolley frame behind him, a look of shocked surprise in his eyes.
'What happened to you guys?' he asked in amazement.
Nothing was said, Fing and Faggy helped Trotter out of the harness, which was then taken to the dustbin shed and tossed unceremoniously into a bin.
When they had put up the Christmas Tree they all sat on the sofa in a long furry line and watched 'Its a wonderful life' on DVD.
Having watched the DVD they decided to go to Salisbury's. Fing made sure everyone had their woolly hats and scarves on, loaded Lulu, Tutz and Giggsey Girl the stupid slug face into the trolley and set off.
It was quite an exciting trip. In an idle moment a couple of weeks ago Fing and Fat Boy Faggot had devised a special harness to attach Trotter to the Trolley and today was the first time for the roughly hewn prototype to be tried out.
They waited until they had got safely across the lights, then helped Trotter into the harness, and attached it to the trolley. Trotter was enormously excited and looked very resplendent in his World War 2 Fighter Pilot Jacket and leather cap with ear flaps.
Fing and Fat Boy jumped onto the sides of the Trolley and they were off!
Given Trotters propensity for running as fast as a cheeter on speed and the derelict nature of the shopping trolley it was perhaps, an accident waiting to happen.
They set off up the road at nealy 70mph, with Trotters legs hairing up the pavement, ear flaps on his hat flying backwards in the wind. Fing and Fat Boy gripping on for dear life, eyes almost closed, the intense speed, like G Force, contorting their tiny faces.
Inside the Trolley it was chaos, having not thought of the notion of seat beats, Lulu, Giggsey Girl and Tutz were being thrown around left right and centre, almost as if they were in a large and unwieldy maraca, but obviously not as rattly, more a muted cacophony of 'MEWS!, 'YELPS' and 'OUCH's'.
It couldnt of ended calmly, not realistically. No one had warned Trotter about corners, no one had thought to tell the boy to perhaps slow down. No.
It was carnage, as Trotter took the corner at nearly 80mph the front left wheel of the trolley hit a tiny, inconspicuous stone and took to the air.
Fing and the Fag ended up in the tree, Tutz, Giggs and Lulu all mangled in the bushes, and Trotter? Trotter hadn't even noticed, he was still running in the middle distance pulling nothing but a set of wheels, a faint plume of smoke coming from the wreckage.
After they had extricated themselves from the shrubbery, Lulu and Tutz helped the boys down from the tree, Giggsey Girl was sent to Salisbury's to buy some brandy and they all set off home, like a bunch of wounded soldiers, without bandages perhaps, but all a bit dusty and rather tatty and feeling very sorry for themselves.
Except Trotter! Trotter was already at home, panting by the front gate, harness still attached, the destroyed trolley frame behind him, a look of shocked surprise in his eyes.
'What happened to you guys?' he asked in amazement.
Nothing was said, Fing and Faggy helped Trotter out of the harness, which was then taken to the dustbin shed and tossed unceremoniously into a bin.
No comments:
Post a Comment