Its Snowing in Trotter land

Its all to much for a boy.

Trotter awoke at half past 3 this morning, filled with such a heady excitement that it proved impossible to go back to sleep.

He knew his stocking was hanging at the end of his basket, but was too wracked with nerves to go and see if Santa had left him anything else but a lump of coal.

Fing had always told him that if he was bad, and too be fair, bad is what Trotter does best, all he would receive would be a lump of coal in his stocking.

And so the long hours passed with Trotter fidgeting in his basket, until finally, Tutz appeared wearing half a cracker for a hat.

'Prroot?' she asked, then went to sit by the Christmas angel and proceeded to whistle 'Land of Hope and Glory', completely off key. Trotter wondered if this was a sign from the Lord, but hoped not as it would mean that God, should he exist, was completely and utterly barking mad.

He sighed in a dejected manner.

Half an hour later Fing arrived, the master of ceremonies and gathered all off the pets into the sitting room to open their presents.

Fat Boy Faggot had received some bath oils, fragrant drawer liners and a bottle of cognac.

Tutz had received some new CD's, a framed picture of 50 cent and a scarf and gloves.

Truly Scrumptious Lulu, the chubbiest dog in the west had a bottle of Jack, some fine Cuban cigars and a Delia Smith cookery book.

Fing had some new slacks for dancing in, a pair of tap shoes and a clarinet.

Giggsey Girl the Stupid Slug Face had a black widow catapult, marbles and some itching powder.

At last it was Trotters turn, he sniffed the opening of his stocking in an experimental manner, and was delighted when a wonderful smell emanated from the opening. It was a cheese board! Filled with cheese from around the world! Stinky old Stilton, mild emmental, strong Cheddar with caramelised onions, brie and boursin!

All in all it was just too much for the boy to bear, he ate all the cheese in a matter of moments, then, pushed to the brink by over indulging and lack of sleep went on a rampage of frenzied barking and mischief making, which kind of proved that all he really should have received was that lump of coal.

Finally, exhausted, he has collapsed by the Christmas tree and is dreaming dreams of electric sleep.

A very happy Christmas to you all.