Cheat

Today, Truly Scrumptious Lulu, the chubbiest dog in the west has been inspired by Delia Smith and her insane new cooking techniques.

She has decided that at the weekend she will cook a large chocolate cake made mainly from potato.

Trotter cannot quite envisage this and in his tormented mind see's a steaming jacket potato with a big nob of cadburys melting in the middle. I found him upstairs explaining the situation to Tutz.

Tutz, who had just watched a program about Livingstone's flying foxes, was hanging upside down from the scratchy pole, little legs crossed upon her chest like withered sparrow wings.

'Yes, said Trotter, 'it's chocolate cake but its also mashed potato apparently. I'm not sure but i think its got cadburys buttons in it and maybe some pilchards'

'PPrrooot!' cried Tutz 'PPPRRROOOT' and spread her sparrow wings and promptly fell off the scratchy pole into the laundry basket.

'OK, maybe I'm wrong about the mash potatoes' said Trotter, and left the room as Tuts emerged from the laundry basket wearing a sock as a hat.

She looks at the laundry she has landed in and raises one furred eyebrow, wondering if she can fashion undercrackers into wings and sits there thinking about flying in the warm air around the coast of Africa.