Marmoleum

In a moment of madness, martha and Varne decided to measure the sitting room/kitchenette for our new slate effect floor covering.

They had not considered Trotters beady eye as the entire length of the metallic tape was unrolled, or the effect it would have on his damaged mind.

He struck like a viper and bit the tape, and then began to twirl, until he was wrapped in the tape like a Christmas present too early.

'TROTTERS!!!!' i could hear martha calling out in an angst ridden voice, combined with Gina given it 'Oh my Fuck!', 'TROTTER!'

They had to abandon the measuring for fear that Trotter would either strangle himself or cut his tongue off.