The Ides of

On blustery, blowy March Days Truly Scrumptious Lulu likes to fly a kite from the back garden.

She has a beautiful kite in the shape of a dragon with Bright Blue Wings and an emerald body. All the other pets on the estate are very jealous of the Dragon Kite as they watch it weave and dance in the blustery wind.

One day a team led by the big black cat that no body likes tried to sneak into the garden and startle Truly into dropping the string to the kite. It was a foolhardy venture doomed to failure from the start. Who were they to know that Giggsey Girl the stupid slug face was on guard duty that day? Who were they to know that she had set up an elaborate and intricate system of trap wires and had dug pits filled with sharp stakes? Who could have imagined that’s such a small black cat could have done so much? Not the team led by the big black cat that no body likes, that’s for certain.

Some cats were flung from the garden as they tripped wires, some narrowly avoided being impaled in the pits, some ended up in the rowan tree and some got stuck in the fence, a lucky few escaped with nothing but their dignity intact.

It was a tragedy. Tragic because if the had of done any reconnaissance they would have known that Truly Scrumptious Lulu could not have dropped the string if she tried, for she doesn't hold it in her mouth. Oh no. Truly Scrumptious Lulu ties the string that holds the kite around her chubster chubby tum and uses her not inconsiderable bulk to stop the kite from blowing away. That way she can look up into the beautiful blue skies and watch her beautiful Dragon Kite without a care in the world.

The big black cat that no body likes was sent to Coventry for a week after the ill fated attack and the other cats went home to lick their wounds and pretend they had never been involved.