Thursday morning 1am

It was dead quiet on the estate last night, unusually quiet. All you could hear was the occasional car driving by in the distance. It was so quiet that when someone walked through I could almost feel the vibrations from the tip tap tip of her heels.

So the singing became apparent from very early on, I could imagine that they (whoever they were) must be up by the Westgate somewhere. Whoever they were they were obviously very very drunk and they were getting nearer and nearer the estate.

We get lots of the exceptionally drunk shambling through our estate as it’s the main walkway down to South Oxford. Although most of the time its students that cause the noise, a good part of the time it’s the neighbours, well me and Varne mostley. (Funnily enough, if it’s the neighbours or me and Varne being noisy every one turns a blind eye, but if its students all hell breaks loose.)

So I’m listening to the singing as it gets closer and think Student/Neighbour/Varne? It sounds like they, whoever they are, have stopped outside Varnes to sing under the lamp post. You can’t make out any words, it’s just very loud.

I hear a strangulated 'SSSHHHUUUTTTTT UUUPPPP' from an indiscernible point on the estate and decide to sneak into Martha's room and have a butchers out the front window. Like, the shame.

Its only TROTTER and Fing pissed up on their way home from Bingo.

Can you cope?